With the final papers signed, there are just a few things that I have to take care of. I write out a check for $10,000, to The Departed and his lawyer. I expect she will take most of it and wonder exactly what sort of post-traumatic stress therapy she will spend it on. I’m hoping for shoes and some time at the spa.
It’s my money, or was anyway, and I want it to be spent well.
The next item on the list is stuff. His important stuff, which is heaped up in my garage. I could not get it out of my house fast enough, even though it means I have been living with, in some cases, nearly empty rooms. I expect the camera crew from Hoarders to show up and start filming in my garage, and then become confused and disoriented upon entering the actual house.
I haven’t yet had a chance to call the movers when I receive another missive from his attorney, sent to my attorney, and then to me. The Departed proposes the following moving dates, please advise, it says.
If we have to negotiate moving dates and movers through the lawyers you might as well buy new stuff, I think. It would be cheaper.
Well, I guess if he wants to pay legal bills for this, that’s his prerogative. It’s not mine, though, so I tell the Paralegal: I’ll deal with this.
I call the movers and schedule a date, and prepay my share of the cost. I compose a lengthy, detailed email to The Departed, pointing out I’ve probably generously paid for the whole move. I leave out the part about the coupon I had for this mover, but every other detail – everything I can think of – I include.
I email him and attempt to copy his lawyer on it, just to make sure all the bases are covered. She’ll need to read it, of course – all of it – and though that might take some billable time, at least she will know her letter has been responded to.
I goof and put her name in the subject line instead of the cc: line, and click send.
I kick myself.
He replies to me, saying he’ll follow up with the movers for his part of the arrangements. He is oddly polite, nearly contrite.
And he courteously has moved his lawyer’s email address into the cc: field on his reply, so she is sure to read it when she has some billable time to spend on the matter.