I gave up on match.com. It takes hours to go through all the profiles to find people of interest. 80% of them don’t respond at all, and from what I can work out, the ones that do respond have some serious issues, starting with being unemployed.
This is not my cup of tea, nor my glass of wine.
I leave my profile up while my subscription runs out, but ignore the daily matches and the endless searching.
About two days before my subscription is set to expire, I receive, inevitably, an email – friendly, complimentary, and asking about my trip to Belize. I check him out. Not especially attractive, but he’s friendly and likes to travel.
So I reply via the match email system – also friendly, filled with travel discussion and inquiries about fishing trips, which seems to be his thing. I also mention that my match.com subscription is about to expire, and once that happens, I won’t be able to receive emails through the match.com system. I provide my email address for him to use if he wants to continue the conversation.
I receive a lengthy email via the match.com system – filled with a discussion about work, travel, and his personal email address if I want to use that. He concludes with
Drop me a note! This is good!
He’s so excited he can’t follow instructions, which is unfortunate, because he’s jumping on my last nerve. I feel like a big meanie, because he’s pleasant enough – but really, would it have been that hard for him to have sent the exact same email via regular email at the address I provided?
I want to prove to myself that I’m not a bitch, and I’d prefer if he were not an idiot, obviously – so I send one final email via match, replying to his comments and concluding with, “I won’t be able to reply to any other emails sent via the match system – please use my regular email address.”
No, I never heard from him again.
friend from down south says
LOL! Again, can’t these guys come up with any sort of ORIGINAL ways of being lame? Yeah, I’ve seen this one a bunch, too and variations on this theme:
Me: “I don’t like talking on the phone, but I’d love to chat in person. Care to get together?”
Him: “Sorry it’s been a week since I last contacted you…I guess I lost your number, so call me soon, huh?”
Or, better yet, I tell him to use my email, he messages through the dating website with his email address. I do use his email address, so now he has proof that mine isn’t fake…and he responds via the dating website…Huh?
The internet is such a great way to pretend to do things. You can spend hours researching things and it seems like you’re doing something. But, there’s researching house painters, and then there’s getting the house painted.
I grant you, I only did a three-month subscription, but every so often I peek back on match and almost a year later it’s all the exact same guys. From my admittedly small sample size, I break them down into three types:
80% guys who are pretending to look (“researching”). They think they’re there to meet someone, but they’re not really. They’re there to maintain their image of themselves as people who are worth being with, but too afraid to actually get involved, or they don’t really want to get involved but don’t like the self-image attached to that (pathetic single guy, cat lady, whatever).
19% guys who are actually looking and will meet you for coffee. They are un- or under-employed or otherwise in need of someone who will run their lives, fix their problems, etc., for them. They’ll show up, every time.
1% guys who are actually decent guys who are actually looking for someone. You don’t run across them much because they find people quickly, leave match, and go on to lead normal lives.
It’s this last group that gives us hope. It’s a large overall group so 1% of it is enough people that everyone knows of someone who falls into this group. These are the people we hear about. But statistically, it’s very unlikely we’ll ever actually meet one of them.