Dude who stood me up, here’s a list of all the things you will never get to discover about me:
I’m a Vice President at an investment bank. I grant you, investment banks have many Vice Presidents and we’re not really the heavy hitters of the industry, but still, it sounds really cool and pays better than average. Also, I do a mean Dick Cheney impersonation.*
I look great. Since the end of October, anyway. Everyone says so. Today, I actually put a little effort in.
I speak Dutch. How many people can do that? Okay, 16 million, I grant you – but they all live in Holland and I live here, in fabulous Seattle.
I’m uber-smart. I’m not good at choosing husbands, but I qualify for Mensa.
I’m an amazing cook. Not that you’ll ever know.
*It’s not possible to do a nice Dick Cheney impersonation.