The Child has a father, of course, and it isn’t The Departed. I’ll call him The Foreigner, since a) he lives in a foreign country and b) I have to call him something. It’s the nicest thing I’ve called him in a long time.
Yes, I really, really suck at choosing husbands.
So, a month or two after The Departed left – right around Christmas, in fact – I received a notice from the Division of Child Support (the nice people who are the only reason I get any child support from him). Apparently The Foreigner demanded an accounting of child care costs that DCS collects from him and sends to me – one component of his monthly payment.
What an odd coincidence, I thought, that it occurred to him to ask for this accounting right at the most inconvenient possible time for me.
No, I don’t believe in coincidences.
Worse yet, because he had not asked for this accounting in such a long time, the DCS requested I retrieve records going back to 2008.
I call the DCS lady, frustrated and complaining. Four years worth of records? I ask. Yes, she says.
Do you know what a waste of time this is? I say. He pays me $25 a month in child care – and thinks it’s too much?
I know, she says. I couldn’t believe it when this landed on my desk. But I need the receipts and we’ll do the calculations as required by law.
So I collect it all and mail it off.
A month or so later, I get a notice from DCS: The amount of child care care he must now reimburse me for each month is increased to $75.
My father says: Rarely do you see someone’s karma boomerang back at them so quickly. I admire The Foreigner for his splendid karma.